"Tired"

26th May 2010: I’m tired of reporting, tired of running around at all insignificant places, tired of hearing the same speeches over and over again. I’m tired of seeing the same old faces, propagating the same messages of development and more development with nothing much being done in its aftermath.
I’m tired of wondering every time if this is really as good as it can get.

I’m tired of sneaking into other people’s businesses when they’d rather keep it to themselves, tired of seeing their disappointment to find out that I don’t represent the sought most newspaper in the state, I’m tired of the phony respect they give me in places that I couldn’t help but go out of duty.

I’m tired of people who think they can buy me off (buy my profession off to be precise), tired of them who fail to see I’m living a part of my dream, tired of them who think Journalism is a last resort because we couldn’t find anything better to do, I’m tired of opinions, tired of sick mentality and narrow minds, I’m tired of shallowness.

I’m tired of people telling me “it’s not worth all your hard work” and how they sometimes come close to convincing me that there are better things more fulfilling than a dream.

I’m tired of the ways of desperation people seek for publicity, how they want to tell the world of their every deed of charity (Why can’t they simply do it silently? I mean God knows the good they’ve done…and isn’t it enough that the needy have received it?)

I’m tired of false promises, tired of faked smiles, I’m sick of Ministers who can’t even read a written speech properly, tired of them campaigning alongside irrelevant occasions. I’m tired of biased opinions, tired of mentality that is SO stuck in our thick heads and minds.

I’m tired of speakers expressing “I hope this institution will provide many officers, doctors and engineers”. Does the world really belong to people who hold these professions?

I’m tired of trying to make people happy, tired of trying to explain how and what it means to follow a dream and be happy with it, I’m tired of elders telling me “there’s nothing like government job”.

I’m tired of people without appreciation, tired of them who overlook when they need to really look.

I’m tired of the dry state status of Nagaland, I’m tired of seeing ourselves making fool of ourselves, tired of the publicized number of seized liquor, appearing frequently but doing not a single good to any of us.

I’m tired of cheap alcohol talks.

(This write-up is a result of one-of-those-days when i felt extremely disappointed in the functioning of things around me. The thoughts pass away but sometimes, personal dreams combined with societal concerns make you want to give it all up)

Comments

Mijito said…
I think this should be in the paper :) This kind of frankness is ideal.

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